Present Day

The day is 28 May 2019 and its 12:38 in the afternoon took a day off from office saying I am mentally not well, well that’s some weird excuse not to go to the office well it was not an excuse and my manager was chill enough to let me take a leave and his message was “stay strong and rule the world”, that was some weird message from a manager. So I have almost finished one-fourth of my life nearing 23 years and there have been some not so fun years since I am still a virgin. Yes, a 23-year-old virgin but that’s okay since this is India and the average age to lose virginity is what may be ‘100’ here in India. Just kidding I am not a virgin I am in a relationship with my life and it fucks me whenever it wants to and recently it met Chennai and now its kind of threesome now which I have to join whether I like it or not.

Jokes aside, see I have written a paragraph and haven’t introduced myself yet so my name is Umang and its spelled as ‘F-U-C-K-E-D’ yes I know its copied but yes this is exactly how I will describe myself and I have done it in the previous paragraph. So I am just like any other byproduct of the Indian education system an engineering graduate who once was sure about cracking IIT JEE getting into IIT bagging a job in the USA. But my life said Its too mainstream bro let me fuck you first. So I landed in a university situated in ‘Mathura’ and further going on to bag a job in a company in which almost every third Indian works will not reveal the name but it is spelt like T__S rest I leave onto you to fill in the blank and be sherlock. I will talk about it further don’t worry because I don’t have any important things going on in my life and if you are reading this probably your life is also the same. So I will end this here and yes you may find dark humor inside so read it at your own risk. But one thing I guarantee I can make you cry laughing and also laughing cry and one more thing this one is not for grammar nazis but still I am trying my best not to make any mistakes still if you find one keep it to yourself and if you cannot you can shove it wherever you want except my butthole because that’s already reserved for my life and yes Chennai.